Sunday, November 30, 2014,8:28 AM
I'm still waiting for u...
It has been some times I use this blog , and now due to stress reason . I will write my worries and frustration that I can't kept it anymore .
I can't believe that she has the intention or doesn't include me in her future. It was like the past are the past, words are empty with the meaning anymore. Or I could say, things she said are BS and rubbish.
Is heart breaking that she would think that way but it can't be help. Hey, I m not rich that can support her , even her mum start to doubt my capability . I agree that being a chef in the beginning has the worst pay , but my prospect are good too. Yes, I dun have a degree , but why does it matter so much .. I like to cook , I like people to be happy, but Becos of money , none are happy about it .
In the past she would be crazy about OUR future, talking about houses, getting a pet . Making love . But reality check came in . It might be just impossible with me . She won't talk about future anymore , maybe more on the present . I guess I just fail as a boyfriend . Easily jealous with HEr talking to her male friend ( buddy that heal her) , means a lot to her . Can sense that .
Is like happiness goes around with him and her . While reality goes with me .
The pasts was like a sweet dream , and now . Is the nightmare .
She say she dun wan to make love anymore , because she worry that we won't b together anymore , but lust keep controlling me well Becos I really do love her that much . But after a. Couple of days of rejection ,naturally the disappointment came in .
It has been on my mind like " what went wrong?" , till now I still dun understand . But I do know . On this 30/11 /14 .. I m changing Her from wifey to girl friend .. Too much disappointment is going on . I can't take the sadness any longer . So I will just take a step back , and see how it goes .
I love her deeply , but I m wondering . Will she do the same for me in he future ?